I am officially the mom of a big girl now. My daughter is losing the much cliche'd two front teeth. It's hysterical and I'm trying to soak it up as much as possible. Before I know it she will be crying to me about insensitive boyfriends and rough professors and then her kids. But for now she just looks absurd and I adore it. We knew our kids would need a dentist, between my husbands English blood line and my thrown in-your-face-teeth, but this, this is ludicrous! Thank goodness we know a good one (Dentist that is). These teeth came loose the old fashioned way, Ava 0, Barbie scooter 2. Our dentist said we shouldn't pull them out unless the teeth kept her from eating. The girl eats corn on the cobb, I think she's doing fine.
I've found our close friends and family are struggling with how long these two teeth are taking to fall. Our culture is so obsessed with wanting things right now, that we've lost the ability to let things happen on their own time. Teeth, birth, mile stones, pregnancy, you name it. It's just so hard for us to let go and let the Universe take of things. It's hard to trust that things will happen the way they will. We want to force open the rose bud and help the butterfly from it's cocoon. When we do though, the flower will not bloom and the butterfly will die. These stubborn teeth and this beautiful child are helping me learn how to surrender.
When I was pregnant the first time around, I was shocked at how rude people can be. Never before in my life, with the exception of my stint as a cocktail waitress, was I poked, touched, stroked or patted as much as I was at 7 months pregnant. Complete strangers would lean over, and touch me without so much as a word. I was floored, many times I would just stand there, holding my breath as some random crazy person felt absolutely no social cue to resist stroking a stranger. After they would 'finish' they would gaze up at my face with a great big smile. I guess it was that same goofy smile that kept me from swatting away hands or, screaming, "What the ____ is wrong with you?!!!"I did manage to get away with some crazy remarks that people had no clue how to respond to.*
I gained a little over 50 pounds with my first baby. Keep in mind I come from a tiny tribe of midget people in Mexico and weighed 98 lbs when I got pregnant. It certainly didn't give me solace from rude remarks as my body grew freakishly big. "Look at you! You're HUGE! (that, was a comment from a 'loved one.') Or another favorite, "Gena, what happened to you! I've never seen anything so cute! You look like an olive with a tooth pick through it"! I wanted to hide behind something, unfortunately I was too big to. Even though I knew I wasn't going to be pregnant forever, I couldn't get comfortable with how strange the change was. I felt bad because I was supposed to be happy about being pregnant. Everyone would freak out if I mentioned how much I had gained. Our obsession with unattainable perfection is so ludicrous in this country. I have heard of women who lost a lot of weight in their lives, who, when they become pregnant, refuse to gain weight and have premature babies, or babies with underdeveloped lungs and worse!
My friends, my single friends, dropped me like a plagued body when I became pregnant. Unable to relate to me anymore, my phone slowly stopped ringing. Really? How bad is your drinking problem when you can't hang with me because I'm not drinking for less than a year? I lost my sense of femininity (which was fully recovered by baby 3), before I was pregnant I could catch the once in a while glances I would get. Pregnant, I never once saw a guy 'check me out'. I lost respectability, my colleagues could no longer relate to me on a business level. My guy friends that I could debate politics with and be myself with, treated me like a terminally ill friend. In our culture there are very few role models for women, strong independent women don't seem to make the covers of the magazines. When women are on the cover, more often then not the conversation is only about nursery decorations, as if a woman couldn't be doing or thinking about more than what stinking color the bumper on the crib should be if the walls are Himalayan Bleu. I hope as women who have gone down this road, we are capable of making small changes in order to sheild other women from these circumstances.
Being pregnant is an exciting time in a woman’s life. Whether it’s your first or third, it brings anticipation, joy, and sometimes fear. As a Doula and childbirth educator I am constantly surrounded by pregnant women, many of their stories are the same and some are quite different. What they all have in common is that they want the best for their babies. Nothing compares to the privilege of giving life and the responsibility of that, nothing. With that being said, it is surprising to find that most women believe they have few options when it comes to birth. Very few women know what their choices are, and fewer are aware of what their rights are.
I was telling a friend of mine who teaches prenatal yoga, that I was going to pen an article about Informed Consent. She recommended I refer to it as Informed Choice. I quite agree. Before I talk about choice I want you to know what the AMA says about Informed Consent. According to the American Medical Association, Informed Consent “is more than simply getting a patient to sign a written consent form. It is a process of communication between a patient and physician that results in the patient's authorization or agreement to undergo a specific medical intervention.
In the communications process, you, as the physician providing or performing the treatment and/or procedure (not a delegated representative), should disclose and discuss with your patient:
The patient's diagnosis, if known;
The nature and purpose of a proposed treatment or procedure;
The risks and benefits of a proposed treatment or procedure;
Alternatives (regardless of their cost or the extent to which the treatment options are covered by health insurance);
The risks and benefits of the alternative treatment or procedure; and
The risks and benefits of not receiving or undergoing a treatment or procedure.
In turn, your patient should have an opportunity to ask questions to elicit a better understanding of the treatment or procedure, so that he or she can make an informed decision to proceed or to refuse a particular course of medical intervention.
This communications process or a variation thereof, is both an ethical obligation and a legal requirement spelled out in statutes and case law in all 50 states.”
So, calling it informed choice works best for me because when you as a patient are given all of the information you need you are not consenting to something you are making a choice. Many new moms shrink from questioning their doctor when it comes to birth, however, upon asking these same women if they would question (and question some more) their doctor if they were diagnosed with a serious illness, or told they needed an operation, and the answer was always yes. So why treat your pregnancy or your birth any differently? Your baby is counting on you for food, shelter, love and advocacy. No one loves your baby more than you do, so speak up for your baby. Ask questions; don’t be afraid to ask about alternatives, to question procedures, or ask for/about alternatives. Your doctor is aware of informed consent and what the AMA says about it, so they won’t be caught off guard by your advocacy for your baby. Taking and independantly taught childbirth education class like LAMAZE or the Bradley Method to find out more about birth can make all the difference. The more you know ahead of time the less stress you and your patner are likely to experience on the big day. Birth can be a profoundly empowering experience or it can be a scary and scarring, both literally and figuratively experience. It doesn't have to be a frightening experience, knowing what your choices are throughout your pregnancy and birth experience can make a difference. For more informationon the rights of childbearing women go towww.childbirthconnection.org. for more information locally go towww.childbirthresourcenetwork.org. And www.birthrightrn.com
If you were told that you could have, "one of the most physically, emotionally, spiritually, transcendent moments of your life, and here's the map to get there...would you really say no?"
-Elizabeth Davis, CPM
Normal birth is a rarity in hospitals. Whether it be Fresno or any city from here to New York, you will be hard pressed to find normal births taking place. When I say normal I mean a birth where the woman is allowed to move throughout her labor, with intermittent monitoring, without any interventions (cervidil, oxytocin, epidural). A birth where her water was not broken, just a woman laboring, giving birth (without an episiotomy, use of forceps or a vacuum). In fact, everyone, ask your O.B. how many births (percentage wise) he sees that are intervention free.
Why, are so many women met with so many obstacles when it comes to birth? The US is 42nd in the world for infant mortality and ranked just as poorly for maternal mortality? Most people are shocked to hear this. How can this be true when we spend more money per mom and baby than anywhere else? The answer to this is long and can be complicated, but I will attempt to tackle this one blog at a time. But for now here is an over simplified explanation:
Reason #1. Our society and culture honor and respect technology. There is a lack of faith in the body. Women have given up their amazing power to doctors (a large percentage of whom are male). Women do not feel empowered when it comes to birth and do not have positive images of women in labor. In the beautiful book BIRTHING FROM WITHIN the author says women have been taking childbirth classes all their lives in the form of their surroundings since their toddler hood. Images, stories they've heard, all influence what they perceive to be normal. Our fear of birth in our society has deeply affected our future. Women are not given informed consent regarding what happens in the hospital during their labor.
Reason #2. Labor can take a long time. We live in a fast paced society, as a culture we have lost the ability to wait for anything. Stand by an elevator and watch the anxiety of people rise as they wait for what seems like an eternity for the elevator car to ascend or descend to see our impatience as a country. That's just an elevator, try waiting 9 months for a baby and then maybe 12 or 48 hours for birth! Hospitals are businesses, they really can't afford to wait for every single woman to progress the way her body needs to. At the hospital, if a woman is not dilating 1 cm per hour for 2 hours her labor is deemed dysfunctional and augmentation is suggested/administered. This idea of what dysfunctional is was published between the 1950's and the 1970's. Today's women are larger in stature and have larger babies, so how can this criteria still be valid? Every woman is different and will open of her own accord given time. Women however in the hospital setting are not given time to labor on their own.
Reason #3.Bringing a child into the world requires hard work. It requires quiet and reverence. These things are almost impossible to find in a hospital setting. Your space is constantly invaded by strangers (hospital staff;nurses, housekeeping, doctors etc). The longer you are in labor the more people you will encounter, as soon as you become familiar with one staff member, they are replaced by another. The lighting is constant, the smells are unfamiliar and rest is nearly impossible with what feels like a revolving door to your room. Having a child requires you to open, if you've ever tried using the bathroom with strangers walking in on you, regardless of how kind, I'm sure you may find it difficult to accomplish your task. Having a baby is a far more intimate affair and more difficult still to accomplish in a strange and busy place.
These are only three reasons, there are many more, if you are interested in learning more about birth and how to have a normal birth at your local hospital I suggest you take a childbirth education class from an independent educator outside of the hospital or doctors office. Women, it is time to reclaim our power. It is time for us to advocate not only for ourselves, but for our precious babies. It is our time to become the lioness and fiercely protect our children. The best form of protection is knowledge. Educate yourselves and become active participants in one of the most amazing experiences life affords us!
If you would like to view this film, please call us, we show this film every other month.
A New Jersey couple just lost custody of their newborn child after the mother refused a C-section during the birth of her child in the hospital. Despite the medical opinion that the fetus demonstrated signs of distress and that the procedure was necessary to avoid imminent danger to the fetus, the child was born by vaginal delivery without incident.
The parents refused a C-section because they believed it was not necessary. With as many as 1 in 3 women receiving a C-Section in the United States, it seems that there may be more than a few incidences where a C-section has been performed that didn't need to take place. According to Childbirth Connection:"Recent studies reaffirm earlier World Health Organization recommendations about optimal cesarean section rates. The best outcomes for mothers and babies appear to occur with cesarean section rates of 5% to 10%. Rates above 15% seem to do more harm than good (Althabe and Belizan 2006). The national U.S. cesarean section rate was 4.5% and near this optimal range in 1965 when it was first measured (Taffel et al. 1987). In more recent years, large groups of healthy, low-risk American women who have received care that enhanced their bodies' innate capacity for giving birth have achieved 4% cesarean section rates and good overall birth outcomes (Johnson and Daviss 2005, Rooks et al. 1989). However, the national cesarean section rate is much higher and has been increasing steadily over the past decade. When a national rate is available for 2007, we will find that about one mother in three is now giving birth by c-section, a record level for the United States. Most mothers are healthy and have good reason to anticipate uncomplicated childbirth. Cesarean section is major surgery and increases the likelihood of many short- and longer-term adverse effects for mothers and babies (some of these harms are listed below). There are clear, authoritative recommendations for more judicious use of this procedure (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services 2000)."
So as a parent, you take the time to educate your self. You find that the C-Section rate is much higher than it ever has been, in our area (Fresno, Ca.) the rate is over 30%. You discover that the U.S. Department of Health and Human services think doctors should be more judicious in their use of the procedure, you understand that you have the right to refuse medical advice, it's called AMA, against medical advice. So, when the doctor says he believes you should have a C-Section and you, knowing what you do regarding C-Sections refuse, your child is taken from you. Even after the baby is born, as you knew he would be, without incident, your child is given to foster care. Where are your rights? Whose child is this. What of your parental rights? Are you not your childs biggest advocate?
The strangest part of this whole case is what was said of the father.
Dr. Shnaidman stated that [the dad] was cognitively intact, but that he also suffers from psychosis. She described his diagnosis as "folie à deux," a rare condition in which one person subscribes to the psychoses and paranoid delusions of another. She explained that [the mom and dad] function in a very paranoid and secretive way, with each person's paranoia supporting the other's.
So, if you disagree with the powers that be, they will find that you are crazy. Is it crazy to stand up for what we believe in? Is it crazy that we have lost faith in the woman's body to deliver her child. Is it crazy that we are slowly losing our liberties and are completely unaware?
Learn what your rights are. Learn what the facts are. Educate yourself, your child is counting on you for love, warmth, nutrients and protection. Protect your child and your family. Learn what you can do to have the birth you want.
Sunday, August 16, 2009 at 10:53PM 
